update Facebook and annoy who ever we can in England by describing the weather and the fab time we are having.Flight to Koh Samui – Well …. We walk on the tarmac and are faced with the smallest plane I have ever seen. It’s painted with an underwater theme, comical but not reassuring when two honeymooners had died a few weeks before on one of these little planes. Panic starts to set in, the weather is a bit overcast, could this be the third thing to go wrong with the honeymoon ? Things do some in three’s after all !
Right were off, everything is fine, I’m gripping hard but quite relaxed until…..were are about to descend !!! Oh dear me were are wobbling !!! We are going to die !!! There’s a woman crying, Dave’s leaning over me to take pictures !!!!
We land and we are ok, the airport is beautiful !!! The real holiday begins.
We check-in to the hotel where we are greeted with a fresh coconut with fresh flowers. It was like a little dream, we felt so special ! We then learn they do this everywhere and there’s nothing special about it at all, but we love it.
Right drop bags off and straight to the hotel beach bar to see what’s going on. “Have you got the money Dave?” - “Yeah”, Dave’s still routing around 5 minutes later, trying to find it ! Oh no here I go again – “Have we lost it ?, where is it ? Oh my god I can’t believe it we have no money, this marriage is cursed !”
I have a little paddy and find it in my handbag, “how did it get there ?” I had been blaming Dave up until this point.
Straight to the bar, Tai Mai for me and a Singapore Sling for Dave – Well it was happy hour ! This was a mistake, one Mai Tai and I was hooked, it was my drink of the holiday in between water that is.
So the next 11 nights are our real honeymoon, time to relax and unwind.
We met a couple from Australia who were drunk 24/7, they found it unbelievable when they found out the got married on the same day as us. It was like they had won the lottery or they had just met Elvis (way over the top). His name was also Dave and he decided that this was the craziest thing ever, every time he spoke with Dave he added Dave to the beginning and the end of each sentence, So Dave, what do you think Dave, that’s crazy Dave, I like you Dave (obsessed).
We attended the Managers Cocktail party the next night and everyone from the hotel met for a glass of wine on the beach. This was quite nice, no Dave or Kylie (not sure what her name was but guess what she had a aunty called Helen !) in sight. A few of the other guest were talking about them, same as our impressions – pissed daily.
Next day we decided to go for a walk, it was quite hot but armed with a bottle of water it wouldn’t be too long before we found another shop. We were wrong it started to get blistering and there was no life to be seen anywhere. Stopped at a convenience store just in time, I was nearly dead. Dave had a beer while I opt for water. The shop owner said there was a beach area just down the road to the side of the shop. So we set off again, Jesus Christ it was boiling, why are we walking, there aren’t enough trees to walk under, there was no shade from anywhere.
Finally got to the beach area and found some shade, there was a lady on a motorcycle with a side cart selling things, Dave went to see what it was, Ice lollies Thai style, we were nearly dead and needed something cold, she was our saviour. She shaved a huge block of ice into a shell shaped plastic pot, it was then pressed down with another shell pot and we chose a sauce – Red, not sure what the flavour was so red – and then she added condensed milk on top. It was lovely but we didn’t see her again all holiday !
We walked back up the road and got to the shop, decided to wait for a taxi. We waited and waited and realised that there was no traffic on this road, then out of no-where a bus came, we flagged it down and jumped in, just as we did it started raining ! We wanted to jump out and walk but we stayed put.
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